Operation sell house
by 01wing
Summary: Heero and Duo decide to sell their house… their just happens to be some… lets say complications in the form of neighbors. 2x1, slight yaoi
1. The start of it all

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**Operation sell house**

"Heero, the real estate agent just phoned. Did you know that the equity for our house just went up around one hundred thousand during the last five years!" Duo exclaimed, overly excited as his boyfriend sat impartially at the kitchen table, reading the newspaper. Duo was hanging over Heero's shoulder, pressing his face close trying to get a reaction from the silent younger man.

"Uhuh…" Heero replied, flipping the page of his newspaper over, licking his finger as he turned the page. He was used to giving this over-used and standard reply to get Duo to be quiet.

"This is great! We're going to get so much money!" Duo then began prancing around the kitchen, spinning and making other weird gestures of happiness, his braid flying out behind his back.

"Only if we decide to sell," Heero mumbled, not even looking at Duo. He was too focused on the business section of his newspaper.

"Please Heero?…" Dup started whining, coming around behind his boyfriend's chair, wrapping his arms around his chest. Duo continued his antics by nuzzling his head into the crock of Heero's neck, licking a sensitive spot that never failed to get a shiver. "It's a hundred thousand dollars in profit. Imagine what we could do with a hundred thousand dollars!" Duo whispered in his ear, grinning like an idiot when Heero shivered. "We could take that trip to Hawaii. The hot sun, tiny little bathing suits, and we wouldn't be bothered for days." Duo continued to rattle off things, each one punctuated with a nip or lick to Heero's neck. "Don't you want to go to Hawaii with me, love?" Duo asked pressing his cheek against Heero's wrapping his arms tighter around the Japanese man.

Heero gave a shaky sigh before he started to talk Duo out of his crazy idea. "Of course I want to go to Hawaii with you. But did it ever occur to you that the other people on our block could have the same idea? Selling our house would be a rat race."

"Oh, come on Heero!" Duo exclaimed grabbing his boyfriend's hand and pulling him to the front window of their living room. Plopping himself down on the couch he pulled his reluctant lover into his lap. "Do you see any for sale signs on any of their houses?" Duo asked, pointing out the window to their neighbour's houses.

"No, but that doesn't mean that there won't be ones out there soon." Heero mumbled, leaning back into Duo's chest getting comfortable for a nap in his warm protective hold.

"Heero, there are leaders and there are followers. We will sell our house and then all the sheep will follow! I guarantee no one else has thought of this yet!"

"You guarantee?" Heero asked, raising an eyebrow at Duo  
"   
Yes I guarantee it! If you don't believe me I'll even throw in a Maxwell security policy: If our house does not sell in a month then I Duo Maxwell will clean our new house for the period of the time we live in it!"

"But you never clean." Heero gave Duo a slightly toned down death glare.

"Scouts honor!"

"You should have been a car sales man," Heero mumbled in defeat.

"You won't regret this decision! I promise Hee-chan!" Duo exclaimed, sealing the deal by bringing his lips down on Heero's, treading his hands in the chocolate brown locks he loved so much. His hands drew Heero's head closer and Duo slid his tongue into Heero's mouth. Heero moved closer, straddling Duo's waist, bringing his tongue out to play with Duo's.

Duo abruptly stood up and gave Heero a suggestive smile. Tilting his head, Heero made his way upstairs. Duo's smile changed into a lecherous grin as he watched Heero's ass move up the stairs.

"God, I love your ass Hee-Chan!" Duo whispered into his love's ear as they moved up the stairs together. Heero turned around and gave Duo quick glare before pulling him faster up the stairs. "Well. You're going to have to wait till we get to our room before you get any." Heero said, a second before Duo swooped down, lifted Heero up bridal-style and slammed the bedroom door closed with his foot.

> > >

The next morning, Duo began making the arrangements to get their house on the market. Just as Duo suspected, no one had started to sell on their street yet. Duo was quite self-assured that they would sell their house easily. The mental image of Heero in a maid costume spurred on his drive to sell sell sell!

"Hello Sally!"

"Oh, hello Duo! Did you talk to Heero about selling your house?"

"Actually that's why I'm calling."

"And…"

"All systems go!"

"I don't know how you do it."

"Do you really want to know?"

"No… that's fine Duo… I'll be over later on in the day to put up the for sale sign. It shouldn't take to long to sell your house since it's on the high list at the moment."

"That's what I was looking forward to hear!"

"I'll draw up the papers and I can start brining people over as soon as tomorrow"

"That's great Sally thanks a lot!"

"No problem, Duo. It's my job, Talk to you later!"

"Later Sal!"

As she promised, Sally had people over at the house the next day. What Sally and Duo didn't expect was a for sale sign on the house right next to them. The house that just happened to be owned by the couple Treize Khushrenada and Milliardo Peacecraft.

**Day 2**

"Heero!" Duo screamed from the upstairs bathroom window at seven o clock in the morning.

"Heero, come see this!"

"Duo I'm not interested in seeing anything that has you so interested in the bathroom." Heero replied from the bed, reading a book about the world war, trying to ignore his yelling lover in the bathroom.

"Ew your automatically assume its something nasty!" Duo yelled penitently, the sound of the toilet flushing drowning out any other comment that would have followed. "What have I ever done to be condemned to such a fate?" Duo asked Heero once he came back into the bedroom. Flopping down on the plush bed he putt on a convincing innocent look.

"Don't even try to look innocent, Duo."

Duo pouted in defeat. "Fine, I admit I have had some slightly nasty thoughts but this time isn't one of them!"

"Right, Duo." Heero placed his book down and rolled off bed, proceeding to walk across the room to his dresser to change into something that didn't consist of only boxers.

"Well, if you don't believe me, I won't tell you!" Duo replied, rolling over so his back was to Heero

Sighing, Heero looked over at his lover. There was a rare chance that Duo was telling the truth, and Heero physically couldn't stand not knowing. "Alright, Duo. I believe you. Now will you please tell me?"

Duo jumped out of bed, and before Heero knew what was happening he had a grinning Baka's lips on his own.

"Awe, I knew you'd come around baby! Just look out the window.." Duo said, running out of the bedroom and down to the kitchen, most likely to get food.

Heero felt a sense of dread fill his gut as he walked over the window, and out onto the lawn beside their 'for sale' sign. Not only was there one on their house, but there was also one on the house right next door to them. A house that just happened to have the exact same floor plan and value as theirs did. A house that was owned by their evil neighbours. The ones they never had pleasant conversations with.

"DUO!"

**Day 3**

"Duo, you do realize that it's going to almost impossible to sell this house now?" Heero asked, now slightly calmer then earlier.

"Well… yah. I didn't expect something like this to happen." Duo said, patiently trying to win Heero over with the sad-eyed expression.

"No, Duo! Don't even try that! Didn't I say this was going to happen? But does anyone listen to Heero! NO! Just because I don't talk non-stop, doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about! Do you even care? No! No one even give a flying fu--"

"Heero, snap out off it!" Duo snapped, giving Heero a not-so gentle slap to the face, also referred to as a bitch slap. "This isn't the time to start getting all crazy on me! We have to figure out how to sell this house first!"

"This isn't my problem, Duo! We made a bet remember? I wash my hands clean of this!" Heero stated, pushing his chair back from the kitchen table, throwing his hands into the air.

"Heero, this is your house too. Do you realize we could lose thousands from this? Do you really trust me to handle something like this by myself?" Duo asked, not liking the idea that he had to put himself down. However, he had to. Heero's cooperation was needed in this operation.

Heero just sighed and flopped back down into his seat. "I'm assuming from that grin on your face that you have an idea."

Duo's grin just widened and he bounded over to Heero and wrapped his arms around his lover's waist.

"Let me explain my plan in one word…" Duo said, gesturing his hand out in front of them as if showing Heero something very grand and invisible "Sabotage."


	2. Little green men

**Day 4**

Duo's plan was crazy, idiotic, irrational and just plain stupid. And despite all the negative things Heero concluded the plan was, he still agreed to the crazy, idiotic, irrational and just plain stupid plan. Duo had Heero whipped; W-H-I-P-P-E-D and the poor boy didn't even know it. To top it all off, Duo came up with the 'brilliant' idea in about the time it took for Heero to brew a cup of coffee.

Now, what was Duo's 'brilliant' plan? Well, the plan was to… dump green dye into their neighbour's pool. You would think Heero would have been the sensible enough not to agree with Duo's little plan. He was the sensible one after-all.

– But even telling Duo what a crazy, idiotic, irrational and just plain stupid his plan didn't convince Duo to change his mind about going through with it. He dismissed Heero's input, walking over him like he was a doormat! Oh yeah, Heero was so _whipped. _ Poor guy. He really didn't have a choice about the matter, so he just went along with Duo's plan. It took the whole day to gather up enough supplies to effectively dye a large-sized pool green. On the fifth night of preparations, Duo and Heero were ready to start faze one of operation _Little green men._

**Day 5 **

"Pass me the rope Hee-chan." Duo whispered, trying not to draw attention to the fact he was failing miserably at scaling the neighbour's fence to get to the unsupervised pool on the other side.

"Is this much rope really necessary?" Heero asked, handing Duo the end of the forty foot rope.

"Of course it is! You can never have too much rope!" Duo mumbled to his partner. Flipping the rope above his head, he tossed it over the fence, whistling in appreciation at the awesome feat he had just accomplished. "Look at that! Smooth and graceful. And on my first try too! Damn, I'm good."

Heero rolled his eyes "Duo, the fence is eight feet high."

"Your point?"

"You're six feet tall."

"I still don't see your point"

"You- you know what? Just forget I said anything."

Duo shrugged indifferently "Fine! Be that way! You're just jealous of my rope throwing abilities." He mumbled, beginning his trek up the fence with the assistance of his trusted rope. Duo clumsily fell off the fence once he reached the other side, flopping down onto the hard pavement with a sickening thud. It was shortly followed by a painful moan. "Heero?... Oww! Heero, you there?"

"Yes, Baka. I'm here." Heero replied, standing calmly by Duo's crumpled form on the ground.

"How did you get over here so fast?" Duo asked with a puzzled expression. Pushing himself up off the ground, he brushed the dirt off of his black stealth clothes.

"The gate was unlocked."

_What? _Duo thought. Heero must have mentally received it.

"The gate. You know, the one that lets people into the yard. The one right there!" Heero pointed to a wooden gate that blended into the fence.

"You take away all the fun in this." Duo grumbled, unzipping the backpack and taking out the six large containers of green dye

"Duo, we're breaking the law. This isn't suppose to be fun."

"Then you've obviously never broke the law before." Duo muttered, unscrewing the bottle of dye and watching with rapt fascination as the bright green liquid flowed from the bottles into the pool.

Heero sighed and followed Duo's example by pouring in his bottles of dye. _This better be worth it._

**Day 6**

"Heero!" Duo screamed from upstairs. But to Heero it sounded as if he was right beside his ear.

"Do you have to scream?" Heero yelled back at his lover, clutching his coffee cup in preparation in case he felt it was necessary to pelt it at Duo.

"That's the only way to get your attention!" Duo screamed…again.

"Duo! Stop yelling and come here!" Heero scolded, his grip tightening on his coffee cup.

"Only if you promise not to throw your coffee cup at me!"

"How the hell do you do _that_?" Heero practically growled back.

"Do what?" Duo asked, lowering his voice a few notches.

"How do you know what I'm going to throw at you?"

"I know you better then you know yourself." Came Duo's simple reply.

_That's a scary thought_ "What did you want Duo?" Heero asked, annoyance making his voice thick with exasperation.

" I want you to come see this!"

Heero slowly walked down the halls off the house, looking in all the rooms trying to find his elusive lover. He found Duo standing at the den window, looking at the neighbour's front yard while trying to hold in his laughter. Heero came up beside his giggly partner and looked out the window to see what was so funny. Out on the neighbor's lawn was Treize and Millardo with… green skin. Even Millarodo's blond hair was dyed a lighter shade of green than his skin. Both were yelling at their realtor who was sheltering scared buyers behind her. _Definitely worth it. _Heero grinned.

**Day 7**

_Dear Duo and Heero Maxwell-Yuy,_

_Please refrain from placing chemical substances into our pool. Especially chemical substances that result in the swimmer to be dyed green for days. I do not know what justified this outlandish attack on our outdoor swimming pool but I assume it has something to do with the fact that both of our houses are up for sale. If you had come to Milliardo and myself we could have made an agreement to sell our houses at different times. However, since you have started this childish war that is not possible anymore. Please accept this nicely wrapped gift on me and my husband's behalf and I hope your house sells relatively fast. _

_After our house sells first, of course._

_Sincerely yours,_

_Treize_

Heero calmly folded up the elegantly written letter and placed it onto the kitchen table beside a box wrapped in bright purple paper. Duo was sitting across the table, watching his lover's stoic reaction. Personally, he was pissed and ready for the war to start. But Duo knew Heero would most likely throw this back in his face.

"Duo this is entirely your fault! If you didn't start this idiotic idea then we could have made a compromise!" Heero snapped, slapping his hands onto the table, causing an air tidal wave to knock the letter off the kitchen table.

Duo decided to completely ignore his Lover's comment and tentatively drew the brightly wrapped package open. "You don't think it's a bomb, do you?"

"No, it's not a bomb, Duo. They want to move away from us, not kill Us."

"There's not much of a difference." Duo mumbled, pulling off the purple ribbon and pealing off the paper. Underneath the paper was a cardboard box taped up tight. On the other side it said in red pen:

"_The war is now on."_

Duo gave Heero a brief look for reassurance before opening up the lid of the box.

There in the neatly wrapped box, was Duo and Heero's first pet they'd ever had together. Their cat Kale.

"Oh my god! They killed Kale!" Duo exclaimed, hiding his head in his arms, morning for the loss of his dead pet.

"No, they didn't Duo. Kale died two years ago."

Duo looked up and gave Heero a pathetic glare "Okay, fine! They dug up Kale's dead body and put it in a box! Happy now?"

"Satisfactory"

"You know we can't let this slide."

"With you, nothing slides."

"Damn right!"

_A/N Review!_


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